Danielle's Delusions

Staffed!!!!

2008-12-05T16:50:00.001-08:00

I finally (FINALLY) got assigned to a project. It's currently a very
short assignment (only through the end of the year) but it could be
extended, and I can stop worrying about being laid off for at least
three weeks.

I'm so glad to finally have something to do. Now my little vacation in
San Francisco feels legitimate. (I'm in San Fran for the weekend.) By
the way, if you get a chance, you should definitely fly Virgin
America. It's superluxe.

Okay, I'm going to go back to doing the happy dance and get ready for
a celebratory dinner.

Let the friggin fun begin already!!!

2008-12-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

So, as most of you know, I'm "working" as a consultant right now. As most of you also know, despite the fact that I was hired a year ago, and actually began at the end of August, I have not yet been assigned to a project. As a result, I'm experiencing a major case of the blahs vis-a-vis the whole job thing.

Picture this: you have just graduated from college, finally found a job that sounds perfect for you, and begin this job with all of the excitement and anticipation one can imagine attends such a wonderful new phase of your life.

Now, imagine going into the office for five straight weeks to get trained on how to do this job. Sure, that gleam in your eyes may have dimmed somewhat, but you're still anxious to get going.

Now, imagine at the end of that five weeks, that you actually don't have anything to do yet. You need to "get staffed to a project." (What? You mean I got hired without something to do? That's weird.)

Finally, fast forward two months, and you still have not begun the actual work. Oh yes, you are getting paid, you've been to the doctor, the dentist, gotten your car repaired, checked your email, answered any and all calls for social events to "enhance your network," but STILL, you have not actually begun to work in this "challenging" environment.

Imagine you are the kind of person who turned down a job where you got to sit in your pajamas all day working on PowerPoint slides for $30 an hour because it wasn't challenging enough, and then imagine that instead of that, you got paid even more to do nothing whatsoever. My insightful husband compared it to an episode of the Twilight Zone: You wish that you could get paid to do nothing, and then you get your wish and it sucks! Well, that's where I'm at right now, cue Rod Serling.

Word on the street is that I am unlikely to get staffed on a project until January, so I have at least one more month of this inertia to look forward to. I'm going crazy. I've watched every movie ever created. I've taken online classes on a variety of scintillating corporate subjects to "enrich my skills." I've had lunch with executives:"Sorry, nothing on the horizon right now, check back in January. If it makes you feel any better, we've all been through this." I'm even "volunteering" for non-billable projects to keep from forgetting how to be a productive member of society.

I know, it is completely "Generation Y" to complain about getting paid to do nothing in a recession, while people everywhere are losing their jobs and lining up in breadlines. But I competed my butt off for this job, and I want the chance to prove myself. I want the opportunity to earn my wages. And mostly, I want some frequent flier miles.

Back in the Saddle (again)

2008-08-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

Sorry for those of you who were disappointed in the attrition of blog contributions toward the end of my road trip. I was definitely experiencing blog fatigue. I now realize that I am just not very good about keeping up with the blogging, so I removed "books" and "movies" from this blog, and moved "Favorite Things" down to the bottom, so I don't feel so disappointed in myself when I finally do log back on. I also changed the title of my blog from "crises of a 10th year undergraduate" since I FINALLY got my degree!!! Yippee!!!

What have I been up to? Well, after my road trip ended, I got my wisdom teeth pulled on Wednesday the 20th (well, two of them were pulled, and two of them were surgically removed) then I had an allergic reaction to the vicodin which left me sick for days and days.

Thursday - Sick

Friday - Sick

Saturday - Slightly less sick, but still not quite up to snuff

Sunday - Not really sick but in a lot of pain from the jaw tension and only being able to take tylenol

___________

Monday, August 25th - First day of work. (For those of you who don't know, I just began work as a technology consultant for a major international consulting firm.) The first day consisted of eight hours of powerpoint slides about various HR topics.

Tuesday, August 26th - Second day of work. Eight hours of slides of "core values"

Wednesday, August 27th - Stitches removed from surgery, and eight hours of online training on such scintillating topics as sexual harassment and data privacy.

Thursday, August 28th - see Wednesday

Friday, August 29th - See Wednesday and Thursday

_______________

The next two weeks promise to be a little more exciting (well, for me anyway) with two weeks devoted to computer programming training.
________________

Then two weeks after that, I get to travel to another state for two weeks of training with all of the new hires from around the globe (who look a little bit like an alcoholic co-ed fraternity in business suits, if the recruiting materials are to be believed). I'm actually really looking forward to that too. I'm just excited to be starting this new chapter of my life. The powerpoint presentations and online trainings wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so anxious to get started on the "real" work.

Anyway, I'm definitely very excited about the opportunities before me. I'm working with some really great people (even if most of them are really young, and I can't help acting a little bit like their mom, or at least their nerdy older sister) and all of the experienced people I've met seem to be competent, if not always entertaining. I'll try to keep you updated, but I'm not making any promises. I'm an international consultant now. :)

It's a Shame (If you don't do this too)

2008-05-29T08:32:00.000-07:00

I was sent this chain mail by my 12-year-old friend, Ms. Banana Bread. I'm not usually into chain mails, but I actually kind of like the sentiment behind this one, because I think that what we listen to really does say a lot about us-- so I'm sharing it with the rest of you, without any "repost" pressure.

Here's my iTunes roulette:

Directions:

1. Put your Ipod, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG'S NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.**

**For the purposes of this experiment, I will say that any song on my iTunes that belongs to Mike exclusively (which means metal music I've never listened to) I will choose to skip.

-------------------------------------------

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Savior And the Saved -- Leslie Nuchow

(Interesting choice, iPod. Here's a quote from the chorus for those of you not familiar with the tunes of Leslie Nuchow (which is probably everyone except my sister)

I am the savior
And I am the saved
I am the frightened girl
I am the brave.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Love is Here to Stay -- Harry Connick Jr.

(I'm big on commitment. Or I'm into stalkers.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Fantasy Girl - Stevie B

(I'm not sure if that means that my life's purpose is to be someone's fantasy girl, or to rollerskate more often, because I always associate this song with rollerskating.)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Know your Rights - The Clash

(I'm pretty righteous.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Widescreen - Heather Nova

(I don't think I've ever even heard this song. You know when you buy an album for like two songs and never listen to the rest of them... no, of course you don't, you buy individual songs now... but when I was a kid, you had to buy a whole album. Anyway..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Out Loud - Dispatch

(apparently I'm consumed with having someone say my name.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
I Know, and I Said Forget It - Mates of State

(This is another one of those "whole album songs" but the title seems apropos enough for most people's parenting experiences. My parent's didn't say "Forget it" to too much though.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana

(I'm so sorry Sherry. Why do you keep eyeing me like a pisces? I am forever in debt to her priceless advice though.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

(Mike: "Wait, they don't love you like I love you." Do we need to have a talk?)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Trouble - Ray LaMontagne

(I already am Trouble. I guess I'm a success.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
How Lucky we Are - Meiko (lyrics)

(Oh my goodness, that's ridiculously cute.)

WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
Civil War - Guns N' Roses

(Oh, now that's funny.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Breathe Me - Sia

(Scary. This song was featured heavily in Six Feet Under commercials. Oh dear. Please don't let me commit suicide. And also, please don't inhale my ashes. I think I might be into mummification though. "Wrap me up.")

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
Insane in the Brain - Cypress Hill

(It's good to know I'm not really crazy. It's just a hobby.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon - Pulp Fiction Soundtrack

(I am pretty scared of growing up.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Ants Marching - Dave Matthews Band

(I think my biggest secret is that I actually still listen to DMB.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something

(This is kind of cool, since I tend to collect friends with very little in common with me except a sharp mind and a love of cinema.)

WHAT IS YOUR DEEPEST THOUGHT?
I'm Alive - Heather Nova

(oh Heather Nova, why have you hijacked my iPod? At least this song has a deep sounding title.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING?
Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw - Jimmy Buffett

(Anyone who knows me knows that I hate Jimmy Buffett and that this song is definitely Mike's, but I do know the song, and I think it's hilarious that this is how I feel about global warming. "Forget about it people, let's get drunk and screw." Considering I don't drink, this is especially intriguing.)

HOW DOES THE PERSON YOU LIKE FEEL ABOUT YOU?
I'm too Sexy - Right Said Fred

(You can't make this stuff up.)

WHAT WILL YOU REPOST THIS AS?
It's a Shame - The Spinners

Here are the questions without answers if you want to do this yourself.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
WHAT IS YOUR DEEPEST THOUGHT?
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING?
HOW DOES THE PERSON YOU LIKE FEEL ABOUT YOU?
WHAT WILL YOU REPOST THIS AS?

Whoa! More than a month?!?!?

2008-05-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I didn't realize it had been so long since I had posted. I've been really busy trying to graduate. I'm almost done! Whoo hoo!

Plans are coming along nicely for my road trip this summer. I've already gotten into a minor argument with my sister, and she's not even here yet. (This should come as no surprise to those who have placed their bets on the two of us turning around before we even get to Missoula.)

I yelled at her for having fun (and therefore spending some of the money she's been saving) prior to our trip. What a nice person I am? I know I'm kind of a control freak, and I guess it's a bit ridiculous of me to expect her to live like a monk for three months because I've decided to go on a road trip. I'd like to say it was just the stress that always seems to befall me at the end of the quarter, but we probably will wind up killing each other before this trip is over.

Anyway, my inspiration for this post is that I wanted to share a graphic I made for a PowerPoint presentation in my Project Management class. I'm trying too hard not to do the work I need to do that I'll let just about anything distract me. I could just put a picture of "Rosie the Riveter" in my presentation--no, no-- I had to "customize" it. So here she is... "Danie the Riveter."

Strange smells from the bus

2008-04-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

Blueberry waffles.

Right now, the bus I'm on smells exactly like an eggo blueberry waffle.

Sent from my iPhone

Graduation

2008-04-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

Given that graduation is upon me, I've been trying to figure out what to do with my final summer of freedom. I was originally planning on going to visit my friend Seth in Europe for a few weeks, but it might be better to save that trip for next year when he's more (or less) settled.

I wanted to visit some friends on the East coast.

I thought of a million different things to do. I even thought about going to fat camp for grownups, but I want to do something really exciting before I enter the "real world."

It finally occurred to me today, that I should do with my final summer of freedom what I kept encouraging my sister to do with hers... explore!

So my sister and I are planning on taking a full-summer roadtrip around the US. We'll rent a car for the summer, and get some camping gear, and drive around the country visiting family and friends, experiencing things we wouldn't usually do, and pushing each other to do good things. On this trip, we won't eat fast food, we'll go hiking, canoeing, challenge each other to make healthy decisions (I'm even encouraging my sister to quit smoking), write the great american novel(s), and re-connect as sisters.

Whenever possible, we'll camp at free campgrounds or stay with friends and family. We'll eat food that we buy at grocery stores, only eating at restaurants for special reasons (for example, we couldn't possibly drive through Osseo, WI without stopping for pie.) In the process maybe we'll kill each other, but I think more likely we'll learn to respect each other as the adults we've become, and each grow a little bit beyond our comfort zones. Maybe that's more of a hope than a prediction..

Anyway: friends and family, we look forward to seeing you. It's going to be a great summer.

Books

2008-04-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

Hello again, dear reader. I've been reading a ton of books lately, I don't know what it is. I finished "The Wonder Spot" yesterday around 9:00pm, and started "Candy Girl" and read right through it. Two books in one day! I really need to start going to the library again. My 550 sf. house simply cannot handle all the books I'm going through. It's so nice to have the books to re-read though. Oh well. What can you do.

Today I saw Horton Hears a Who with my wonderful 12 year old friend, Ms. Banana Bread. We had a great time, and the movie was actually really enjoyable. I laughed out loud a couple of times, and the level of detail in the animation was pretty remarkable.

So far my classes this quarter are off to a good start. I'm really excited about my "Software User Assistance" class, which seems like it will be really applicable to my future career, and I'm also enjoying the "Project Management" course a lot more than I thought I would.

Unfortunately, I did some math, and even if I 4.0-ed all of my classes this quarter, I won't quite make it up to Cum Laude territory. :( Boo! I'm still going to try to go for it though, just to challenge myself one last little bit, for what is, presumably, my final days of school, forever.

Howdy!

2008-04-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Hawaii, and it was, for the most part, a great trip. Despite some initial problems (like Hawaiian Airlines losing my luggage for a few hours, a stained rental car, and a few bugs in the house) the trip turned out to be great.

I had some wonderful meals (most notably Roy's on Hawaii Kai and Sushi Sasabune downtown) swam in some perfect water, relaxed in the hot tub, read a few books and watched a few movies. Overall, that's my kind of vacation.

I've finally taken the time to update my books read and movies watched list. Since I haven't been super diligent about keeping up with them, the dates are a bit foggy for some of the items, but what can you do?

I've started my last quarter of college, and I'm really excited. I'm taking some classes I think I'm really going to enjoy (Project Management, Software User Assistance, Biopsychology, and Senior Portfolio) and my schedule is just about as good as any college student could hope for: I have NO classes on Mondays or Fridays, and my Tuesday and Thursday classes are right in a row, and don't start until 11:30. Of course, my token Wednesday class is at 9:00am, but you can't win them all.

My GPA took a bit of a dip with geography and sociobiology last quarter, but I didn't even come close to failing--which some of you know was an actual concern I had for a moment there. Hopefully this quarter I'll be able to pull of perfect (or near perfect grades) and get my GPA back up into cum laude territory. Otherwise, I'll just have to be satisfied with a piece of paper, but seriously, after ten years, I'll take it.

Aloha!

2008-03-23T21:10:00.001-07:00

This is the view from my bed in the cottage in waimanalo. Its gorgeous
here.

Favorite things: now in Retail!

2008-02-25T09:47:00.000-08:00

I decided to steer the "Favorite Things" away from food this time, but when I look at the list I'm compiling, it's like 90% food. I'd have to say that if I just had to list my favorite things generically they would be good food, movies, technology, and art. I've almost completely stopped listening to music, which is strange since it was such an important part of my life for a while. I think I just got burnt out.

Anyway, today's favorite thing is Scarecrow Video. This video store is in the U-District in Seattle, and was a key point in Mike's campaign of trickery to get me to move to Seattle.

The moment I walked into the rather daunting store, I ran toward one of the old ugly bookshelves--packed to the gills with movies-- and hugged it. "It's organized by director!" I was pretty much sold. When we first moved here, Scarecrow had more titles than Netflix (Netflix has since surpassed scarecrow, but I choose scarecrow any day.)

When we first moved here and didn't live close to the store, we went a couple of times just to get weird movies we'd heard about that we couldn't get at blockbuster. We felt like serious hipsters when we went to rent "Audition" (way before it got seriously popularized in the US, and released on DVD). The VHS cassette we rented had a $300 damage deposit. Oh yes, we were in the big leagues now! The movie was just as awesome (and gruesome) as we had hoped it would be, and the deposit felt like membership in a secret society. Sure any schlub off the street can get audition on DVD now, and it probably looks better and has all kinds of special features, but there is nothing secret or special about a mass-market DVD.

Anyway, I'm really just procrastinating here to avoid doing homework, so I should get back to it. Looks like posts are going to be every couple of weeks, dear readers. I guess that's what happens when you take 25 credits.

Bad Danielle!

2008-02-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. I've been totally remiss about posting to my blog. What can I say, I'm a bad seed. Sorry if this post is a little bit "all over the place," I've got a lot of catching up to do.

It's been super busy in my world, taking 25 credits is no cakewalk, let me tell you.

Things are going well, the Giants won the Super Bowl, which is quite an exciting event in my house. My husband looked like he was going to give birth to the next Manning child for the last 5 minutes of the game. It was really very exciting. Our guests (we fit two whole people in our house) lost their voices, and they don't even care about football. Mike was just so excited that it was contagious.

Anyway, good times were had by all.

In the exciting news category, Mike and I (well, really Mike, cause I usually win) have finally gotten our first real casino comp. We're going to get to stay in the Red Rock Las Vegas (a totally beautiful hotel) for two nights in April absolutely free (well, except for airfare, food, gambling... wait a minute, we're probably going to spend exactly what we would have spent if we were also paying for a room, those sneaky bastards.) I'm really excited about it. Hopefully the room service has improved since the last time we stayed there. And hopefully I'll win enough to make up for Mike's big losses again. :)

(Sorry about the utter lack of transitions here.)

I have been experiencing a book deficit, so I am seeking recommendations. I feel like I've read everything ever written, but I'm sure that can't be true. I've gotten so desperate for books that I've started re-reading my collection. The other night, I had finished my assigned reading, and I stalked around the house scouring the bookshelves for something new and exciting. Finding none, I cracked open "God Bless you, Mister Rosewater" and proceeded to read it from cover to cover. I've moved on to "Welcome to the Monkey House" but I highly doubt that short stories are going to last me very long. I need your help, dear reader. What's good? What's new? What's old that I might have overlooked?

Finally, I shall post another "favorite thing" for some reason this one is food as well...

Simply Apple: I am completely in love with this apple juice. I recently had another life-changing apple juice at the cafe at the Elliott Bay Bookstore, but it's from a local orchard, and much harder to source. Simply Apple is my favorite only because it can be found in the grocery store!!! Simply apple, despite being secretly made by the fascist corporate behemoth that is Coca-Cola, is an amazing juice. It's made only of apples. No sugar, no water, and it actually tastes really, really good. It has been sold out of my local grocery store recently, so I decided to try some other "natural" apple juices, but none of them have been nearly as refreshing as simply apple. They got just the right mix of sweetness and tartness (mostly sweetness) and it's such a great drink. If I could find it, I'd have it every day.

My Favorite Things

2008-01-24T10:48:00.000-08:00

This Christmas, I received from my sister and my mother, possibly the best gift I've ever gotten. When we were talking on the phone about what to get each other for Christmas, I was like "You know what, I have way more money than you, and I feel guilty when you buy me things, so why don't you just make me a list of things you would get me if you had all the money in the world."

Well, I knew that my sister wouldn't heed that advice, so of course a package comes full of Christmas presents... but... there was also a binder that accompanied said presents. The binder was titled "Oprah Winfrey Presents: My Favorite Things - Christmas 2007: By Laura and Mom." To let you know how awesome this whole thing was, I'll rewrite the first page for you here:

"Please Read Before Starting Your Christmas Adventure!!

Danielle and Mike-

First of all, Merry Christmas (and happy belated birthday!). This year, Santa sent his favorite little helper, Miss Oprah Winfrey, to help Laura and Pam (henceforth referred to as "Mom") select their favorite things from the past year and send them to you as gifts this Christmas.

In order to begin this adventure, you must first unpack all gifts from the shipping box. As you will see, each gift has a number on it {there were 11 of them - D}. The numbers on the packages denote the order in which the packages should be opened. I strongly suggest (and so do Oprah and Santa) that you do not open the packages until this booklet tells you to. This folder has been put together (with lots of hard work, I might add) to ensure that you get the maximum amount of enjoyment out of your gifts.

If you have questions or concerns (or simply wish to express your gratitude) feel free to call the customer care center at the number provided.

Yours Truly,
Mom and Laura
Customer care representatives

Questions? Concerns? Call XXX-XXX-XXXX {Number blacked out to prevent you from calling my sister to demand presents yourselves - D}. Operating hours may vary.

As you can imagine, my excitement level was high. So I had to wait until I had read through each one, and open the presents in numerical order so that I could read their accompanying binder instructions, which were accompanied by witty descriptions, comparisons to pop culture icons, and some really fabulous illustrations. Also, there were some gift cards embedded on the pages, so I got to open the hand-made envelopes just like those awesome books I read as a kid that contain different letters and things that you get to interact with. Honestly, the presents themselves were actually pretty fabulous, but my husband and I were so entertained and touched by the effort that went into the binder that it pretty much made our holiday...

Anyway, the whole point of that two paragraph diatribe was really to introduce a new feature of my often neglected blog. My Favorite Things. And no, it's not going to be bullshit luxury items like "Uggs" or $700 hand creams. Although there will possibly be some luxury items on the list, it's not so much a list to inspire people to buy me gifts, but a way for me to remember the things I've had that seem extraordinary. Additionally, although they will necessarily be in some kind of order, they are not ranked in order of preference.

So. to inaugurate the Favorite things, here are a few that I know are absolute favorites.

Smith Brothers Farms Chocolate Milk: Smith Brothers Farms is a local dairy that raises their own cows, and makes their own dairy products. The result is absolutely AMAZING. Now, i will drink just about any chocolate milk, since "Chocolate Milk" on its own could certainly be on my list. But Smith Brothers takes it to a whole 'nother level. The milk itself is amazing. The cows are fed grass from local providers, and the dairy controls the entire process, so they know what goes into their product. The only milk I have ever tasted that surpassed this milk was in Canada, and we all know how much better their food is than ours, anyway. So, if you like chocolate milk, and you're near Seattle, you should really try SBFs chocolate milk. It'll change your life. Or at least taste really awesome.

Smith Brothers Farms Sour Cream: No, I am not being paid by SBF to promote their products, I just happen to love them. Their sour cream is the best sour cream I've ever tasted. It's thick, and subtle, but it tastes so good, I could just eat it right out of the carton and be fine. What's really awesome, is that SBF still has residential milkmen who will deliver this stuff to your house on a regular basis. AND the price isn't much higher than in the store. It's awesome. I can't say enough great things about them. I've driven past their farm, and the cows look really happy. If California has happy cows, the ones in Kent, WA must be ecstatic.

Whoo hoo!

2008-01-23T22:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm finally finished with my creative writing class. I made some compromises on the final story, which, if you'll remember from my previous post, I wanted to make a doomsday tale that got progressively more disturbing, and ends on a sour note.

Instead, knowing that my original story would not be appreciated by my instructor, I went with a different ending, and a different tone all together. I will link to the story at the bottom of this page, but you shouldn't read it if you are upset by swear words or graphic violence. :)

I will add some caveats first...

1) I actually don't really like creative writing.
2) I don't like happy endings.
3) I didn't really take as much time on this as I should, so this story should probably be read more like it's a first draft than a finished story *but don't tell my instructor that.
4) My sister is a much better creative writer than I will ever be.

If you've been in contact with me recently and I haven't replied, I'm sorry. It's because I'm a bad person. No, really, it's because I'm taking 25 credits, and it makes me want to cry. Since this class concludes with this final paper, I'll officially be down to 20 credits tomorrow. So I might be more available.

So, here's my story... I hope you enjoy it, but it won't hurt my feelings if you don't. I'd love some feedback if it's constructive.

My story.

Weather, Integrity, and Moral Imperative

2008-01-14T17:43:00.000-08:00

I hate rain. I love snow, but not when it could be confused for rain. I am not a fan of the "wintery mix." It's like everything that's bad about rain, plus it's Hella McCold, and it stays on your body longer. Ew.

Anyway, enough chatting about the weather. I'm supposed to be working on my short story for my creative writing class, and I am absolutely uninterested in writing it. I am being forced to compromise my original vision of the story (where the main character is forced into making a bad choice) into one that's much more "American" and ends happily ever after.

I don't know what I expected when I signed up for a creative writing class, but somehow I thought all of my weird bad habits would be okay. It turns out, they're not... at least not in a classroom context. I would argue however, that almost all of my favorite short stories are not structured in a "crisis, conflict, resolution" fashion where everyone's choices are clear cut and the ending is emotionally satisfying.

I much prefer stories like Richard Matheson's (or any episode of the Twilight Zone, for that matter) where the ending isn't necessarily happy, but there is a clear moral imperative, even if that imperative is demonstrated through its not being met.

Well, unfortunately for me, artistic integrity is a distant second on my priority list to the number one priority of getting a good grade:

1. Get a good grade.

2. Artistic integrity. (Do work I would be proud of.)

So, I guess I'll be telling the gangster story with the happy ending. My sister suggested that I write my stories twice, once for me, and once for the teacher, a solution she arrived at when she was in a creative writing class herself. Of course, that would be a great suggestion. But I think artistic integrity is actually placed third, behind:

1. Do as little work as possible
2. Get a good grade

3. Do work I would be proud of.

It may be possible to do all three of these things, but the best grade I've gotten so far in the class was on the assignment I just said "fuck it" to, and half-heartedly wrote a series of sentences that would best fit into a nice chick-lit story. It is possible that I do my best writing while mocking something, that is read and interpreted earnestly. But somehow, I doubt it.

Maybe the best writing I can hope to do is dimestore romance novels. I guess someone has to write them. I won't mind being at the cover shoot for the photos either. And I'd probably get to watch lots of Cinemax for research... Okay. That's enough. I'm going to stop writing now, before I turn into the next Danielle Steele.

Lazy

2008-01-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't blogged in almost two months. I feel terrible. I'm sorry, dear readers, please don't hate me, I have plenty of excuses, but I won't insult you by making them. Suffice it to say, I'm back, and I'm going to try harder, dammit.

I just lost my little friend Kermit (that's the name I decided to go with). When Mike and I went out of town for Christmas, I put an automatic feeding pellet in the tank, but it caused an algae bloom, and Kermit didn't make it. I think I'm just going to stick with the snails and crabs until we move into a bigger house where I can have a permanent refugium...

I've read quite a few books in the last couple of months, I won't go into any detail about them, but my favorites have been "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, and "I am Legend" by Richard Matheson.

I've also seen many movies, my favorite movies have been "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" and "No Country for Old Men." I'm looking forward to seeing "There Will be Blood" later this week.

Right now I'm taking a completely ridiculous 25 credits of classes, so it has prompted me to quit my job so I can focus on my studies.

I also got offered a full-time job at a "global consulting firm" that I accepted, but doesn't start until September or October of this year. That leaves me some time to take off between graduation in June and starting my job as a consultant to travel, and most importantly, visit my friend Seth in Norway.

I have also undertaken a few new year's resolutions:

1) I will golf at least once every two weeks (just hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range is acceptible)

2) I will take private pilates classes once a week.

3) I will try to eat "better."

4) I will do cardio at least twice a week.

So far, I'm off to a good start, I've been to both my pilates classes, i've hit golf balls twice, and I'm starting the cardio (with husband) tomorrow.

I've got to do some work on a short story for my creative writing class, so I shall bid you adieu. In addition to my fitness-y resolutions, I'm going to try to be a better blogger.

Mandy? Kermit?

2007-11-30T11:01:00.000-08:00

Not quite sure what to name it yet, but here's the latest addition to
my aquarium. This fish was not really healthy when I bought it, so
well see how it fares over the next few days. So far it has made it
through a night, and it appears to be scarfing up food like crazy.
Hopefully it will fatten up and make it. Seeing its ribs is a "bad
thing."

My new favorite artist

2007-10-18T23:31:00.001-07:00

Since I didn't go to art school, and I didn't even take art after elementary school, I'm incredibly behind the curve when it comes to art appreciation and general knowledge about artists. That is my caveat for all of my friends who DID go to art school (Hi Seth and Steven) so that I don't look like a complete ignoramus when I say who this person is, and that I had never heard of them before in my entire life.

Caveat ended, I can now say that my new favorite artist is Ralph Eugene Meatyard. I can't think of anything more exiting to me than taking the realism implicit in the medium of photography and just tweaking it a tiny bit to make the images haunting, but still credible. Sure, photographers have been doing this for ages, and I'm probably not saying anything new here, and okay, the masks in some of his photos take the tweak a little far, but I still love them. Mike was less enthusiastic about most of his work than me. But we both enjoy our art a bit on the gothic side.

That's enough of that diatribe for now. Enjoy this lovely Meatyard photograph ("Madonna") I'm borrowing from Masters of Photography until I can afford to get my own...

Happy Birthday Bernie!!!

2007-10-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid I don't have Steven's talent for video, so a simple "happy birthday" will have to suffice for Bernie, my book-friend that I haven't yet met. I'm looking very forward to meeting you this afternoon. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!!

Everytime I think I'm a genius...

2007-10-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

...someone proves me wrong.

Today I was thinking about my newest idea for what I call my "Genius Sandbox" which is basically a repository of ideas that will make me a multi-millionare before age 30. (Please do not speculate as to how close to that particular deadline I am.)

Anyway... one of my latest ideas for the Genius Sandbox was a setting for my Google Calendar that includes a way to automagically silence my iPhone (yes, I bought an iPhone) during times when you wouldn't want it to ring--like during class, or while I'm at the theater. (Or, on an unrelated tangent, simply to make Google Calendar sync with my iPhone without using third-party software and Outlook as an intermediary.) Since I'm already going to the effort of putting these appointments into my calendar so that I won't forget them (probably because I am approaching 30) I thought it might be nice to have the "busy" radio button (that shows you as unavailable for other appointments) automagically assume that I also want my phone to be silent.

Genius? I certainly thought so. But apparently someone else had the idea last year. Same with my "how's my driving .com" web 2.0 app.

So, given that this idea has been in the miasma for over a year, why hasn't it been implemented? Well, obviously, it would be quite the programming cluster ____ to try to create code for each and every mobile device.

But I don't have every device. I have an iPhone. And some of us apple enthusiasts (not me) paid $200 more than the rest of us so we could look cool. If I have to import my appointments into the iPhone calendar, why doesn't it include a simple checkbox to silence itself? That's a great question, and I'd like Apple to answer it. Immediately, if not sooner.

Apple (or Google for that matter) could also just hire me to design this for them, and I'd be quite happy. In addition to simply incorporating a "silence" feature, you could also prioritize who gets to ring through. For example, I might not want my phone to ring during meetings UNLESS it's my boss. I ask you: What's the point of all those fancy groups, if you can't also assign specific call times? How about not letting the phone ring for anyone from the office after 5:00pm. (Brilliant, I say, brilliant.)

I'm thinking how beautiful it would be not to get woken up by that drunk dial from someone in Eurasia at 2:00 in the morning, because I've set my calendar to ring through only if it is someone in my "friends and family" group.

These innovations would be quite simple to implement AND they'd be really helpful for superusers like myself. Sure, the average grandparent isn't likely to utilize a feature like that, but I can assure the powers that be that the people who would use it (namely me) would appreciate it greatly. (And we spend more money on technology than our grandparents.)

Or, just give me an SDK and I'll write the damn thing myself. Thank you, have a nice day.

Alaska Cruise!!!

2007-09-24T16:02:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos from the cruise. I was limited in my flicker file sizes, so I can't post them all, but here's a taste..

The room and pictures of glacier excursion

Towel animals

Me and Kilgore

2007-09-14T11:50:00.001-07:00

S.K.U.N.K.S

2007-09-12T13:10:00.001-07:00

Stinky

Kitties

Undercover

Now

Kala's

Smelly

Golfing at altitude = bad

2007-09-09T14:29:00.001-07:00

So, I wanted to be a tough guy yesterday and walk the golf course for a full 18 holes....

in Durango...

elevation: somewhere around 6,500 ft...

temperature: somewhere around 80 degrees...

tee time: noon...

Needless to say, I learned some valuable lessons yesterday...

1) I got a sunburn on the top of my feet, cause I forgot to put sunscreen on my sandals.
2) I also got a sunburn on the very back of my arms, cause I didn't quite apply the sunscreen I did apply all that well.
3) I got so overheated, and oxygen-deprived, and all-around tired that I threw up right in the fairway of the 18th hole.
4) I'm not really that good at golf.

Well, at least I made it 18 holes before I tossed my cookies. (at least that's what the rest of my party was probably thinking) And, I didn't need an ambulance or anything.

Today I played again (nothing can stop me!!!) but I used a power cart. Today went MUCH, MUCH better. The cart was better not only because I had a constant source of shade, and I didn't get as tired from walking uphill, but also because I was able to play more quickly and therefore hit more golf balls.

Since I'm a newbie, I wind up picking up my ball a lot to keep up with the more seasoned players. Today, I'm proud to say, I played three holes all the way through. That might not seem like much, but when I'm averaging around six shots per hole before I give up and pick up the ball, that's a pretty big deal. Go me! I even got a slightly illegitimate Bogey, which I am going to call a Bogey anyway, cause it sounds cool.

I also want to give a shout-out to my BFF (despite the fact that he can't spell my name) Seth, who has finally updated his blog and included some cool pictures of his new clothing and tiny dorm room. I think there's a link on the side of my blog. I'm too lazy to paste in-line links today.

Fishing with dad

2007-09-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

Vacation Update

2007-09-08T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'm here in beautiful Durango, Colorado, visiting my dad and Eve. I'm having a great time. The weather has been outstanding, though the fishing has not.

When Mike was still here, we went out to three different lakes to try to catch some trout, to no avail. A couple of days later, my father rented a boat and we went to Lake Vallecito to try to our luck there. Four hours later, we'd had one fish almost make it to the boat before spitting the hook and a couple of nibbles, but nothing to show for our efforts. My father caught an 18-inch trout on the way home from running some errands a couple of days ago, but of course, I wasn't there. I think he bought it at Albertsons. :)

The rest of my vacation has been vacation-y. Eve and I went out to the driving range on 9/6 and I hit the balls pretty well. Still not hitting consistently, but when I do hit them correctly, they do what they're supposed to. I'm looking forward to playing a full 18 with Dad, Eve, and their friend Ray this afternoon.

As you can see from my book pane, I've read three books this week, and I'm working on the fourth. I'm going to have to hit a bookstore at some point, since I'm reading the last book I brought, and I still have another week here, and a plane ride, as well as the cruise to get through. If you have any recommendations, I'd love to hear them.

The Neverending Story: was surprisingly different from the movie. Only the first half of the book is covered in the movie, and there are a couple of key differences that I found a bit surprising, but which inform the rest of the book. The second half of the book is more a lesson in morality, so it took me a while to get through it, but the fantasy elements were really interesting.

Prep: I really breezed through this book, finishing it in less than 24 hours. I don't necessarily think that the plot would appeal to everyone, but I really enjoyed it. It's about a midwestern girl coming of age at a new england boarding school. While I obviously didn't go to boarding school, I could still relate to the normal events that happen in any high school. The writing was very easy to read, even if the main character was occasionally whiny, I was still able to continue and get through it in one day.

The Phantom Tollbooth: A nice two-hour read. This book was very much like the movie, and the illustrations were simple, but very imaginative.

That's all the news that's fit to print here in Durango. I'll try to post a picture of my dad from our fishing trip, taken from my new phone. It takes pretty good pictures in daylight, but it has no flash.

The Kite Runner, part deux

2007-08-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

I finished up "The Kite Runner" last night and found the last 200 pages to be as beautiful as the first 100. What a compelling story! I was only planning on reading for 15 minutes last night and wound up reading for 2 hours and finishing the book at 1:30am. I definitely teared up a few times while reading that book, which is really a rarity for me.

I also saw "The Nanny Diaries" yesterday with Hannah. It was really nice to spend some time with Hannah, who is certainly going to be a famous director/photographer in 15 years. The movie wasn't particularly great. I understand from others out in the blogosphere that the book is far superior to the film, so perhaps I'll give the book a chance. The movie, however, was definitely one you should wait for on cable. I don't even know if I'd pay for a rental.

The Kite Runner

2007-08-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

I just finished up TN:FAS the other night, and I was planning on giving "The Kite Runner" my standard 15-minute pre-bedtime reading last night, but I got hooked in right away. It's awesome. I'm already past the 100 page mark. I've been avoiding this book cause I didn't want to read some trendy book about Afghanistan, but it's really a beautiful narrative with very rich characters.

Thanks, Bernie!!! Good call!

The Doctor is OUT

2007-08-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

So, no endoscopy today. This was the original consult, where the gastroenterologist makes me spend money to give him the same medical history I gave my GP, and then puts me on expensive medications before doing any expensive diagnostic tests.

Current diagnosis: acid reflux. I'm going to be taking a "proton pump inhibitor" to try to neutralize the acid. It could take up to a month for the symptoms to dissipate if the medicine is effective. Fun. I'm also supposed to start drinking metamucil. Nothing like purchasing senior citizen accessories while in your mid-twenties. Soon I'll be buying ensure and depends. I can feel it.

Differential diagnosis: allergies. Apparently, I may suffer from some seasonal allergies that are causing me to experience post-nasal drip in the nighttime, and making me throw up in the morning as I try to clear my throat (subconsciously) in the morning. Intriguing. And convenient, since I have no allergy symptoms during the day. And am not "stuffed up" in the morning. If you can just make stuff up, I think I'm ready to be a doctor. If it is "allergies" then my symptoms would likely go away this summer and come back at the same time next year.

Follow up: revisit the GE if the PPI doesn't get rid of the AR. If I have reflux, then I'd get an endoscopy in 5-7 years to make sure that the acid hasn't killed my esophagus.

Feelings: why don't we have one of those medical tricorders yet? I just want to know what's wrong with me by waving an iPhone over my body, and then I want it to be cured by some kind of painless laser/photon beam. On a positive note, my doctor was pretty nice, I think I'm just frustrated with medicine as a whole.

All phones are NOT created equal

2007-08-28T13:16:00.001-07:00

About 10 months ago, I purchased a new cell phone from at&t/cingular/at&t. After spending a few days doing research, I finally decided on the Sony Ericsson w300i. It plays mp3s, takes pictures, AND has FM radio (plus it got generally good reviews). I listen to the radio quite a bit, so I really decided on this phone because of that feature. (It's one of the only phones that has it).

When I got the phone I was pleasantly surprised. Not only did it have the features mentioned, but it also had a really loud ring (which is something I wanted, but is nearly impossible to find out about without actually using the phone), and good volume on calls as well.

On the negative side, the layout of the keypad isn't that great, since all of the buttons are flush with each other, so you actually have to look at the phone to send text messages. Which is fine, people shouldn't be texting from their cars anyway.

So, within the first few months of owning this phone, a piece of the crappy headphone adapter broke off, so I was dealing with a connection problem with the headphones. It wasn't enough of a bother for me to go all the way and purchase a new adapter, but it was mildly annoying. Then, about halfway into my super-high-stress-cell-phone-dependent summer job, the phone decides to power off anytime the flip phone is shut. ACK. So I was forced to leave the phone open while I waited to find time to get it replaced (it was still under warranty).

The replacement arrives, and it's a refurbished phone. I was excited to find, however, that it came with a new adapter for the headphones, so at least one problem was solved. :) I don't really care about the status of its having been refurbished, but I expect it to work... Within two days, the same problem as the previous phone occurs. It's CLEARLY a problem with the wiring within the hinge, and it's clear that whoever had this phone before me had the same problem, and it was NOT, in fact, fixed.

So I called AT&T to replace the second phone. It turns out that on your third replacement (on your fourth physical phone) you get to switch brands. Luckily for me, this would only be my third phone, since I'd grown fond of the w300i.

Anyway... right as the operator was telling me that if the phone broke again I'd have to switch to a new brand, he finds out that they are out of w300i's. So I'm not going to be getting the same phone, after all. :( I'm mildly heartbroken, but I sense an opportunity for an upgrade...

The operator says we're going to give you a RAZR. And I said "it can play music and has a camera phone?" and he said "yes, it even plays video." I was confused, because I know the old razrs did not play music. I did a little research and found out that the new RAZR, the v3xx, plays music, BUT it doesn't take regular headphones, AND it doesn't come with headphones. So I was prepared to make a phone call to customer service today when my phone arrived, and couldn't play music out of the box, cause I'd have to shell out $100 for crappy bluetooth headphones...

So, at 12:00, my new phone arrives, and it's a RAZR v3. As in, "the old RAZR that does NOT play music." So I called, and I whined, and they tried to give me a Nokia phone that costs an entire $100 less than my phone. I was like "uh-uh" and I was getting a little frustrated, this being my third phone and all, so I got sent to the "escalation desk." I have this beautiful picture in my mind of a desk floating up and down a magical escalator, but I doubt that's what it means.

Escalation guy seemed to understand my disappointment in the clearly inferior Nokia, and tried to offer me a straight up RAZR v3xx, I was like, NO, it's not comparable to my phone, cause you can't play music on it out of the box. I don't care that it is a "better" phone, I'm not paying $100 for some crappy bluetooth headphones. So he said, "I'll send you some headphones" and I said "awesome possum."

So, the RAZR v3xx does NOT play FM radio (insert frowny face here) but it does play mp3's and it's prettier than my walkman phone, AND it's on a better network, so presumably there will be better call connectivity. (One can hope anyway.) In most people's eyes, this is a situation in which I definitely "won" the customer service war.

But I would call this customer service experience a wash. I'm really disappointed that my phone doesn't have radio. I'm really pissed off that they would rather send me a more expensive refurbished phone than send me a new version of my existing phone (which is currently for sale on their website). Also, because my warranty period expires in November, I'm fairly certain that the new phone will work until exactly the day after my warranty period ends, thereby forcing me to purchase another phone programmed to work for exactly 366 days before crapping out.

It's fairly ingenious: they don't even have to engineer obsolescence in the software, they just have to make something so mechanically inferior that it breaks every few months. Then they send "refurbished" phones over and over again until the customer's warranty period is up.

I'm on to you, AT&T. I know people with the original Nokia 5100s who are still using their phones almost 10 years later, because there was NOTHING you could break on them. Meanwhile, i have a $300 phone that has broken twice in a year. Sure, it has a camera (that I don't use) FM radio (that I do) and a snazzy ringtone, but it doesn't work for a damn. I'm not running to snatch up a Nokia 5100 anytime soon, but I propose that the degradation in quality of the phones produced over the last ten years is linked to the addition of "features." That's all I'm saying.

Vacation Approaches

2007-08-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

In the previous post (subsequent if you read them linearly) I mentioned my vacation, but I can't remember if I said explicitly what I was doing in an even earlier post, and I'm far too lazy to look back...

I'm spending two weeks in Colorado with my dad and stepmom and then one week on an Alaska cruise with my husband and his grandmother.

I'm really looking forward to these three weeks!

Maturity Ensues

2007-08-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Sherry (my best friend in the world) just got a promotion with a scary title: Senior Manager of Strategic Planning. Sure, some of my cohort (myself included) have grown up to become "managers" but I think Sherry wins the scary-grown-up award. (My friend Beata who went to medical school doesn't count, cause she was a scary grown up even in high school.) Growing up is scary. Maybe that's why it's taking me 10 years to finish college.

I finished a great book last night: "Thursday Next: First Among Sequels." It definitely made good on its subtitle. I've often felt that the rest of the Thursday Next series ("Lost in a Good Book," "The Well of Lost Plots," and "Something Rotten") never lived up to the hype of the first novel in the series, "The Eyre Affair." But the latest book, TN:FAS was really great. It was full of the inside book jokes and blatant puns that made the first book so wonderful. While the other three books were a little bit off, they were definitely still enjoyable, just not as polished as "The Eyre Affair." Despite minor flaws, all of his books are consistently funny, and I'd rather read Jasper Fforde's worst offerings than just about anyone else's best efforts.

To be clear, his books are not for everyone. If you are not well-versed in classic literature, you might still enjoy his books, but you'll be missing out on most of the jokes. And if you don't like puns at all, I highly suggest you avoid everything he has written. I, who love both the classics and a good pun, find his writing laugh-out-loud funny, and recommend his books to all of my bibliophile friends.

In addition to "The Kite Runner," which Bernie was kind enough to loan me, I purchased several books to read on my vacation (which starts on Saturday):

"Prep" by Curtis Sittenfield [I bought this one cause it looked good]
"Stormy Weather" by Carl Hiassen [this one to reminisce about FL]
"The Phantom Tollbooth" by Norton Juster [never read it, love the movie]
and "The Neverending Story" by Michael Ende [never read it, love the movie]

I imagine those four books will get me through the two weeks at my father's house, although I may need to pick up some more for the trip to Alaska. I'll be sure to keep my blog updated while I'm in Colorado, cause I'll mostly be sitting around and golfing. :)

In aquarium news, one of my emerald crabs molted. I thought for a minute that he might have died, cause the shell was picked clean, but he had only molted as he turned up this morning. I added some iodine (despite my intention not to dose my tank with any supplements) out of concern for the ability of my tank members to mature properly.

The age of aquariums

2007-08-27T09:50:00.001-07:00

Here are two photos of my aquarium: one from May, when I first got the livestock (top), and one from last week, when I added the two emerald crabs (bottom). As you can see, the progression of coralline algae has been quite wonderful, despite the fact that I am using Compact Fluorescent lighting rather than the preferred Metal Halide lighting. Obviously my "dream" tank would have MH lighting, but I'm not quite willing to spend $400 on lighting alone. Not to mention the recurring cost of replacing the bulbs.

Also, I've added ZERO supplements to the tank. The people who sell "live rock" would have you believe that you need to add calcium and iodine to encourage the growth of this stuff, but I contend that you do not. I did use a synthetic sea salt mix that contains supplemental minerals to make the seawater, but I have not added additional chemicals to this tank, whatsoever.

So, the time difference between the photo at the top and the photo at the bottom is approximately three months. I'm starting to see some less desirable macro algae (which my emerald crabs have eradicated) and some more desirable tiny sealife (likely amphipods). I think that I've also got some tiny hard coral growing, but because I'm not dosing the tank with any supplements, I doubt that it will thrive. I'm not making this tank to keep corals, so I'm not worried about it.

Status Report

2007-08-26T10:28:00.001-07:00

Let's see, I've been home for a week, and my house is half-cleaned, my internship paper is half-written, I'm half-way through "Thursday Next: A First Among Sequels," I'm half-way through unpacking my stuff from this summer. Since we leave for Durango on Saturday at 6:00am, I think I'd better get my booty in gear.

I also have tickets to see Mel Brooks' new musical "Young Frankenstein" on Friday. I'm looking forward to that.

I finally finished re-reading the His Dark Materials trilogy. It was good. The final book was a bit slow to read, but I enjoyed it overall. It's kind of like the anti-Lewis. I'm surprised something so anti-Christian was a commercial success, not to mention being made into a major Hollywood film. I'm interested to see how the movie turns out. It can't do worse that Stardust, a movie only Steven and I seem to have been less than fully satisfied with. I'll admit that I loved Robert DeNiro and Ricky Gervais, but there were definite lulls, and the movie could have used another $50 million to make it a bit more magical.

I enjoyed "Rocket Science" despite the uncomfortable frequency of teenagers making out. It reminded me of "Thumbsucker" and brought back far too many unpleasant high school memories, but it was still enjoyable.

"Ratatouille" was pretty good. The level of quality in the animation is astounding. I don't know how Pixar does it, but everything they make looks completely beautiful. The rats moved just like real rats. It was amazing. The movie has also convinced me of a new vocation to strive for: "Global Technology Supervisor." I have no idea what the "Global Technology Supervisor" does, but it sounds like something I would enjoy. There's the whole global thing, which appeals to my ego and sense of self-importance; of course I love technology; and supervisors generally get to boss people around, which I am in favor of... but I digress...

I'm supposed to go see "The Nanny Diaries" this afternoon with the coolest middle-schooler this side of the rockies. All-in-all, it's been pretty much my ideal weekend.

Next year, I'm definitely going to try to go to the Penny Arcade Expo though. There were so many nerds in Seattle yesterday that even I felt cool. It was the first time I've ever seen a line to get inside of Gameworks.

Anyway, that's all I've got here from my couch on this ominous-clouds, super-dark-gray-sky-sun-still-shining-on-the-trees Sunday morning.

Seth, my norsk hero.

2007-08-23T22:15:00.001-07:00

I'm feeling rather prolific to make up for my complete summer of non-posting. So I'm going to brag about my buddy Seth for a second.

First of all, Seth is one of the coolest people I know. I determine his coo-ality, and basically anyone's, using one key metric: independence. I love people who do their own thing. I love people who know what they want and go for it. I love people who are true to themselves no matter what. So while Seth and I have little in common other than a sketchy past in a collegiate a capella group, a love of all kinds of movies, and a keen intellect (if I do say so myself), I love him and put him in my top five friends any day of the week.

Seth is in Norway right now, at the beginning of an incredible six-year program where he is learning Norwegian (so he can understand his classes) and Electronics in lovely Trondheim. As far as I know, Seth has no ties to Norway whatsoever. He just found this program and has committed six years of his life to it. He's pretty much my hero for that. I'll miss him while he's in Norway, but I'll probably see him just as much as I did when he was in Boston and I was in Seattle (which is to say, about every 2.5 years).

I'll keep thinking warm thoughts of him (I understand it's cold in Norway), and hoping he doesn't get arrested for dumpster diving, or kill himself trying to play Ultimate Frisbee indoors. If any of my dear readers would like to read more about his adventures, he's blogging about it at Norwhuh? Be warned... Seth takes a rather free-form approach to blogging (actually to just about everything, now that I think about it [including his facial hair, which is getting rather impressive]). It's not for the faint of heart.

Hard Knocks

2007-08-23T22:08:00.000-07:00

So, I've been sitting at home a lot this week, and I have a new favorite television show.... It's going to surprise anyone who knows me, because I don't give a damn about football.

I am completely in love with "Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Kansas City Chiefs." It has re-affirmed for me that football is basically a fraternity for giants, but I have somehow come away from the whole viewing experience completely endeared to the team and with a more open mind about football in general.

First of all, the photography in this series is AMAZING. Obviously who would know how to make a television show about football better than NFL films, but I can't get over the production value. It makes every other reality show look disgusting (which of course, they are.) But NFL films has taken reality television to high art with "Hard Knocks" and even a non-football fan can enjoy the show. I was so sucked in that I found myself experiencing real pathos when the team didn't win their pre-season matches, and I'm the girl who is perfectly happy to spend the Super Bowl perfecting the art of the appetizer and only wandering out of the kitchen for the commercials. Good work, HBO.

Emerald Crabs do the job!

2007-08-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

All my bubble algae is gone! The emerald crabs seemed like they were only interested in the smaller "bubbles" so I plucked off the bigger ones from the picture last posting, and just let the crabs go to town on the smaller ones. The problem appears to have been eradicated in just three days. Now I'm worried I'm going to have to feed the little guys, cause there just isn't enough algae to sustain them. I have such high-choice problems.

Mike loves the new crabs. They're on the ugly side, and they're certainly much tougher looking than the little red hermits. Of course, they might be mean to the future inhabitants of my tank (I'm building this tank specifically to house a pair of cardinalfish and a single psychodelic mandarin) so they'll be on probation when the new fishies join the fold. I'm still a good six months away from getting the mandarin, but I'll probably get the cardinals in the next couple months.

I'm also going to have to begin my extensive pod culture to feed the mandarin in the next month or so. That will be interesting. I'm planning on using some Oceanpods to get the cultures going, and then seeding the tank and keeping a set of several sustaining cultures going to feed the mandarin. All told I estimate that I'll need a segmented 10 gallon refugium of pods culturing for 6 months to be able to feed just one of these 3 inch fish. They're pretty voracious, and very selective feeders.

Per the request of the other half of my Hudosh readership (Hi Steven) I'll try to add some more photos of the tank to my posts. Right now, I'm too lazy to set up the camera, but I just took pictures four days ago, so the rest of them will get on there eventually.

Superbad = super awesome

2007-08-19T18:44:00.001-07:00

Superbad was so good! It reminded me of a John Hughes movie. I've been waiting for someone to start making 80's-style schlocky comedies that are both heart-warming and ludicrous. Thank you, Seth Rogen, you have satisfied my comedy cravings.

I've added some new critters to my aquarium: two new Emerald Green crabs to take care of the increasingly undesirable bubble algae problem I've been having. When I only had one or two bubbles it was cute, now that there are more than ten I just couldn't handle it any more, so I bought "Brownie" and "Greenie" the emerald crab twins. Presumably at least one of them will have an appetite for valonia and I'll wind up with fewer of the pesky macro algae, otherwise, I'm going to have to take the rocks out and pluck them myself. :(

On a happier note, my summer job has come to an end, so I'll be posting more frequently. It's usually more bittersweet when it's over, but with all the health problems and trickle-down nonsense, I'm definitely feeling more relieved than sad. Now I just need to write a 20 page paper for my Spring internship, get an endoscopy, travel to Colorado to visit my dad, and then set-sail on the cruise of a lifetime, all before classes begin again September 26th. Endoscopy notwithstanding, the last month of my summer could easily make up for the first two. I'm pretty excited.

So, for those of you who haven't heard from me all summer: I'm sorry!!! Let's catch up sometime in the next two weeks.

Better late than never...

2007-08-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

So, clearly I've been completely remiss when it comes to posting blogs, but as those of you who know me will understand, I've been quite busy at my summer job.

I've finally taken some steps to preserve my mental and physical health by cutting back my hours, but it has been a bumpy ride. It's definitely a bittersweet feeling to be working so much less. I feel bad about the burden I'm putting on my staff by not being there 24/7, but I definitely need to put my own health first.

I've seen lots of movies and read lots of books in the month that I haven't posted to my blog.

I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The book, the final installment of the septilogy (is that a word?) was quite satisfying. I would have preferred a more "German" ending, but I think that the way it ended was appropriate for its target audience. The movie, however, of the fifth book, wasn't that good. Having the same kid play Harry at this point is laughable. He's supposed to be 14 years old, but there were some closeups that clearly showed Harry's stubble.

I thoroughly enjoyed Live Free, Or Die Hard. That movie made my summer. I also enjoyed the Transformers.

I was disappointed in The Simpsons Movie, and Stardust. And I CAN'T WAIT to see Superbad.

I've got to get back to work, but I wanted to post something for my "audience." (Hi Bernie.)

1408 -- It's no "Shining"

2007-06-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

I just saw on Rotten Tomatoes that "1408" has a 77% fresh rating. I'm not sure what movie those reviewers saw, but 1408 was actually pretty terrible.

1) All right John Cusack, I realize you have no eyelashes, but seriously, you need to talk to your makeup people about the eyeliner. I felt like I was at a goth concert.

2) There were so many ridiculous plot devices that the movie felt like it was a series of impossibilities and random crap strung together. "Oh, we can get Samuel L. Jackson to be in this movie? Now we'll need to add a way for him to say the F-word."

I imagine that when someone told Stephen King they wanted to turn this story into a film he said "Really?" and then said "Whatever bozos, just send me the paycheck."

The writing was garbage, and the film was too long. Additionally, I'm not sure that John Cusack is capable of looking scared, or crazy. The only reason it was scary at all is because you kept waiting for something actually scary to occur. Once you realized that it wasn't going to happen, the movie became kind of like "The Money Pit," with a hint of "Groundhog Day" without being as good as either.

It's time!!!!

2007-06-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

My summer job begins today. I meet this year with the same mix of trepidation and excitement that I have every summer.

Unfortunately for you, dear reader (Hi Bernie!), my summer job is rather time-consuming, so the ranting may not be daily. I'll certainly try to keep it up though, as it's a pretty good outlet for venting my frustrations. While I won't be direct about what I do, or the particular frustrations of the day, know that whatever I do write between now and August is likely tempered by the exhaustion and exhilaration I'm experiencing in my summer job.

Excelsior! It begins!

Derelict...

2007-06-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

in my duties have I been. (Feeling a little yoda-ish today).

Setting up for my summer job is a rather time consuming task. Yesterday I worked non-stop from 8:00am to 9:30pm. My food yesterday consisted of one slice of pizza and a bowl of cinnamon life (which I ate at 9:30).

I love being busy, but the first thing to go seems to be food--which is why I usually weigh less when I am stressed out. At this point, that cannot be a bad thing, but I do need to eat something. I see a salad in my future.

Rant of the Day

2007-06-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, as I'm gearing up for my summer job, I have a LOT of errands to run. In a car.

In no other city that I've ever lived in, have I seen such complete ignorance when it comes to pedestrians--and I lived in Boston, so that's saying a lot. For a city that prides itself on being "green," Seattlites don't deal well with non-drivers.

Here are my gripes:

There are almost NO pedestrian-only lights downtown. Instead, pedestrians are expected to cross when cars are trying desparately to make right turns, directly into the pedestrians. As a result, during rush-hour (which is pretty much all day here) an average of one car per light can make a turn, and that's generally right as the light turns red, encouraging other cars to plow into them.
Secondly, in an effort to be nice, stupid people in cars will allow pedestrians to cross in front of them in the middle of a busy street, NOT in a crosswalk. This is a dangerous proposition for everyone involved. Drivers have no expectation that people will stop in the middle of a block. In this day of cell phones, in-car mascara application, and coffee obsession, you should not be stopping abruptly in the middle of the street, cause someone might rear-end you. In so doing, they can cause you to smash right into that pedestrian you were trying to "help." This particular phenomenon happened to me twice today. In one example, I almost rear-ended someone who stopped (abruptly) in the middle of a block to let a pedestrian cross over to Starbucks. To the pedestrian, I'd like to say: "Hey dummy, walk the 1/2 block to the crosswalk and cross safely please, or next time, I'll rear-end the car in front of me for giggles."
In places where there are designated bike paths, some cyclists INSIST upon riding on the road. This is also dangerous for everyone. There's a reason we have bike paths. To you cyclists I say: "I get it, you commute on a bike--aren't you super cool. Ride on the bike path when there is one, and ride on the road when there isn't." And all you stupid people walking your dogs on leashes on the part of the "sidewalk" that has a picture of a dude on a bike on it--you deserve to get mown down for your ignorance.

It's called darwinism, and I'd like to see some more of it.

On the other hand, there's an adaptation I've been forced to make in this city in order to preserve my own life that I'm just not happy about. When a light turns green, I find myself waiting and looking around to see if a bus has decided to disregard the red light--again. Today, during my cursory 3 second wait, I watched a double-length bus go from a complete stop on a yellow to "full-speed ahead" after the light turned red. I see this all the time, and there seems to be absolutely no recourse. Bus drivers in this city ignore the light color completely. God forbid a pedestrian took that walk sign literally and stepped out in front of that bus before the driver floored the gas pedal. That would have been an unpleasant start to my day.

My New Wheelz

2007-06-19T16:59:00.001-07:00

This is it... the Merida PowerCycle! I got a gently used one from the all-knowing and nice folks over at ebikesnw in Freemont.

This little beauty has an electric assist motor to help me get over the crazy Seattle topography. It can reach a top speed of 20 mph, and taking hills feels exactly the same as peddling on a flat street. It's amazing. I love it. I can't wait to ride it to school.

Rhymes with Smeckonciliation

2007-06-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

That's right, it's all fixed up for the time being. Thanks to those of you who listened to me vent and spew forth nonsense. You are all my favorite. A nice talk and a few compromises fixed everything right up.

Now, onto the real blogging... I watched "Big Love" last night. I really think that I am over that show. Instead, I spent most of the show playing my new favorite game on yahoo games--"Chocolatier." In "Chocolatier" you are a--well, chocolatier--and you travel around the world finding recipes, sourcing ingredients, and selling your wares. It's actually a lot of fun, and highly playable for me, because it appeals to my love of systems (and chocolate.) Of course, after the one hour trial, you either have to buy it for $19.95 or play it in 5-minute "extended trials." I tried to buy, it but yahoo locked down on my credit card account for some reason, and I was so hooked I literally kept playing this game for two more hours, five minutes at a time.

After losing some ground in the first few "extended trials" I developed a plan for how to use my five minutes most effectively. There are some missions that are so time consuming (switching one of your factories to a new kind of chocolate, for example) that you can only really start them at the beginning of the time, or the clock will run out in the middle, and all your work will be lost. So, I worked on getting my factories setup at the top of the five minutes, and sourced ingredients at the end. I was getting quite a little system going, really.

Honestly this five minute extended trial has added a whole new dimension to the game for me. Now I'm not even sure I want to buy it, because only having five minutes at a time adds another level of challenge.

Anyway, I highly recommend "Chocolatier" for anyone who has a five minute attention span, and enjoys systems.

Cult of Personality

2007-06-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have long been fascinated by personality tests. I took a Myers-Briggs test a few years back, and discovered that I have a "rare" personality type: the INTJ. INTJs are rare enough out in the world (only about 1% of the population), but female INTJs are about as rare as it gets (25% of that 1%).

Having been given a reason for some introspection lately, I have gone back to the old Myers-Briggs information to do some "soul" searching.

Upon my search for meaning, I came across www.personalitypage.com which had the following to say:

INTJ Strengths:

Not threatened by conflict or criticism
Usually self-confident
Take their relationships and commitments seriously
Generally extremely intelligent and capable
Able to leave a relationship which should be ended, although they may dwell on it in their minds for awhile afterwards
Interested in "optimizing" their relationships
Good listeners

INTJ Weaknesses:

Not naturally in tune with others feelings; may be insensitive at times
May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason, rather than the desired emotional support
Not naturally good at expressing feelings and affections
Tendency to believe that they're always right
Tendency to be unwilling or unable to accept blame
Their constant quest to improve everything may be taxing on relationships
Tend to hold back part of themselves

I have struggled with a lot of these weaknesses in my relationships, and while it's nice to know that they are a part of my personality, I can't seem to figure out how to reconcile them with my life.

You simply can't use "It's who I am" as an excuse for being insensitve. At the same time, my partner should be understanding of who I am, and what that means. I don't always see what other people need, and I have an almost unreasonable expectation for explicit communication from others, who don't always "get" why I need such explicitness.

Here's a case study of that need for explicitness: if I don't think I need to do something and you ask me to do it, I'm not going to do it unless I know (and perhpas more importantly, understand) why you need me to do it. It really isn't enough that you ask me to do it. It doesn't mean that I don't care about you. It means that I don't operate the same way you do.

I have often heard about the perception that men generally think that INTJ women are the "perfect" wives because we value independence and communicate directly. But the problem is that we actually are independent and really do communicate directly, often without regard for other people's feelings. So I'm really trying to be more sensitive, but there's only so far I can go.

That's enough introspection for a Monday morning.

Sex and Death 101

2007-06-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today is the final day of the Seattle International Film Festival, and I had a day chock full of cinematic goodies.

First, I watched the final film of the Secret Festival, which obviously I can't tell you about, because it's a secret. Suffice it to say that it was a good film, and definitely the best of the three secret movies that I saw, but that's not really saying much. I'm not really sure that the films they showed this year were worth the $12/ticket price of admission, especially since I didn't get to see either of the two movies I was really hoping to see, secretly.

Next, I watched "Interview" which was directed by (and starred) Steve Buschemi. He stayed for a Q&A after the film, which was pretty interesting. It was a nice character-driven piece about the trappings of celebrity and snobbery, with a bit of intrigue thrown in. It was a remake of a dutch film by Theo van Gogh, who was murdered as a result of a short he made about sexual abuse endured by Muslim women. (Which has nothing whatsoever to do with this film.) Two of his other films are about to be remade, one by Stanley Tucci, and one possibly by John Turturro. I thoroughly enjoyed this film, so I'll look for the others. The original version of the film wasn't released in the states, but Mr. Buschemi said that they might release this version and the original on DVD together. It would definitely be worth watching.

The last movie I saw today (although I had tickets for a fourth movie, I just couldn't sit there for one more minute) was "Sex and Death 101" which was written and directed by Daniel Waters, the writer of "Heathers." The tone of the film was similar to "Heathers," with elements of surrealism and some pretty outlandish humor (not to mention Winona Ryder trying to kill people). I really liked this movie, but it wasn't quite awesome. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for a dark comedy today. I don't know. It didn't hit me right.

Anyway, as for my personal crises, still nothing to report. Hopefully things will turn out for the best. A phone conference with Sherry proved to be both uplifting and revealing. Apparently those who have known me longest and best have been on red-alert for a while now. What can you do?

"Race" for the Cure

2007-06-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today I participated in the 5k "Race" for the Cure on the viaduct. I put race in quotes because it's hard for 20,000 people to "race" anywhere, since we really just walked like sheep being lead to pasture. That's not quite the way my Jewish husband put it, but I don't really feel comfortable making jokes about the holocaust. It was a nice day for a walk, so I enjoyed that part, but I don't like being that close to strangers, so it was a bit of a challenge for me. I also could have done without the cheerleaders.

Steven has some lovely pictures of the crowd on his blog. Why is it that Steven's cameraphone pictures are better than pictures I take with a normal camera? But I digress...

Paranoiac that I am, I kept having visions of the viaduct crumbling to its foundation with all of us cancer racers on it. I can't imagine how that thing can still hold cars. I think I'll avoid doing any driving on it in case the big one (or even the teeny tiny one) hits.

After the race I had an interesting conversation with my husband, the final results of which remain to be seen. It's been hard on us with him working so much (literally 20 hour workdays), but I'm sure that things will work out the way they are meant to, whatever that is.

I miss my philly steak!

2007-06-15T11:38:00.000-07:00

Stupid HTML

2007-06-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

I spent ages formatting the previous post with some nice indentations to improve readability. I previewed the post before publishing, and it looked just the way I wanted, but when it finally came up on the blog--nothing!

Thanks a lot, blogger.

The Honesty Box

2007-06-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

I just added a new application to my facebook page, it's called the Honesty Box. Whether anyone will use it remains to be seen, but the premise is simple:

People can use the honesty box to post things to me anonymously. It's a perfect opportunity to air your grievances--think of it as a passive-aggressive festivus ritual.
Of course, I'm pretty sure you have to be my "friend" to post something, and it does narrow it down by gender, so I'd probably be able to guess who posted, thereby elminating the need for the thing at all.

So why bother? Those of you who know me realize that I operate at a different level of honesty than most, and that makes some people uncomfortable. Now those people whose feelings I have hurt (for example, by telling them that they have a booger sticking out their nose, or that the layout of their webpage is total crap) have an outlet for venting their frustrations with a slight pretense of anonymity. They'd at least have plausible deniablity.

At this point, the only thing I can imagine someone posting there is a message from a friend saying how pissed off at me they are for basically disappearing for the last month and a half.

Here is my not-so-anonymous reply:

I imagine the original intent of the app was to allow people to reveal their secret crushes. If I were to use someone else's honesty box, I would probably use it for good, since I'm perfectly willing to do my own grievance airing the old-fashioned way. Here are some things I could imagine saying via the honesty box:

Sometimes when I try to say things like that in person, I think I sound creepy. So now I will limit my use of bizarre compliments to the Honesty Box. Feel free to deliver mine in person if you prefer, I know that I can handle it.

I really do believe that people need to be completely honest with each other, and that only good things can come of it. Even if something apparently bad happens as a result of honesty, at least it's real. You know?

Day 2 of my life in the blogosphere

2007-06-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, last night I had a wonderful time with my main Seattle homie, Steven. We went to Machiavelli in Capitol Hill, where we had the spinach ravioli and the spinach lasagna, then we went to Neumos to see Yacht and Architecture in Helsinki.

a) this concert made me feel old. In fact, we were approached by another oldster, who asked us if she was "required" to go inside when the doors opened, or if she could just wait and come back when the show started. Then she made some kind of comment about us all being old. I'm sure she was trying to instill some sense of comeraderie, but it was lost on me, as I was busy being perplexed by what kind of person over the age of 16 doesn't know how a concert works.

b) that place is f*ing hot. And I don't mean that in a "good" way. I mean hot, like sweaty, smelly, tight, cramped, strangers rubbing their sweat on you--hot. I'm so glad I stood on the old people balcony and wasn't down on the ground slogging it out with the kiddies, I'm sure I would have punched one of them in the face.

c) Yacht was strange. He's apparently the same age as me, which makes me feel a little proud to be a 10th year college student, because there are so many other (strange) things I could be. He basically dropped some beats on his Mac, sings the same 10 words over and over, and runs around the stage like a maniac. I didn't know how to feel about all of this. I just don't understand what the kids are listening to these days. I felt like maybe it was all some elaborate joke. Like in 10 years, we're going to find out that Yacht was a performance artist whose motivation was to see how much BS people would pay $15 to see. As far as I could tell from the balcony, he did have exceptionally nice teeth.

d) Architecture in Helsinki was pretty good. I really like their sound, it reminds me a little of some 80's groups that I LOVE, although I fail to see the "grunge" influence to their sound. I can't imagine someone who likes Nirvana, for example, also liking Architecture for Helsinki, or being pleased to find it recommended to them on Amazon. First of all: they wear too many colors. Their sound is way more psychedelic than grungy. Okay, maybe they're not totally obsessed with showering or shaving; but I'm pretty sure that's not the sole requirement for grunge.

As for Teen Witch, there is one movie that stands the test of time. It was already ridiculous in 1989, so in 2007, it's awesomeness is just magnified to the Nth degree. As far as I remember in 1989 (and bear with me, I was 9) when you became the "most popular girl" you didn't have signs with your name all over school. I'm also pretty sure that there was no spontaneous choreography, or white-boy rap battles, although I really wish there were.

Let's get this party started!

2007-06-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to be finally sharing my delusions of grandeur with the rest of the world (not to mention my irrational disdain for so many things.)

All right, I'm sick of typing already. I'm going to go back to watching Teen Witch.