The Honesty Box

I just added a new application to my facebook page, it's called the Honesty Box. Whether anyone will use it remains to be seen, but the premise is simple:

People can use the honesty box to post things to me anonymously. It's a perfect opportunity to air your grievances--think of it as a passive-aggressive festivus ritual.

Of course, I'm pretty sure you have to be my "friend" to post something, and it does narrow it down by gender, so I'd probably be able to guess who posted, thereby elminating the need for the thing at all.

So why bother? Those of you who know me realize that I operate at a different level of honesty than most, and that makes some people uncomfortable. Now those people whose feelings I have hurt (for example, by telling them that they have a booger sticking out their nose, or that the layout of their webpage is total crap) have an outlet for venting their frustrations with a slight pretense of anonymity. They'd at least have plausible deniablity.

At this point, the only thing I can imagine someone posting there is a message from a friend saying how pissed off at me they are for basically disappearing for the last month and a half.

Here is my not-so-anonymous reply:

Dear Friend:

Yes, I have your book. I'm sure I'll wind up mailing it to you at your new home. I'm sorry that I'm a jerk. Hope the magazine turned out well. Good luck in the real world. Perhaps we shall cross paths again someday.

Signed,
Stupidhead

I imagine the original intent of the app was to allow people to reveal their secret crushes. If I were to use someone else's honesty box, I would probably use it for good, since I'm perfectly willing to do my own grievance airing the old-fashioned way. Here are some things I could imagine saying via the honesty box:

Your hair looks great today.
You should wear more yellow.
I wish I had your eyelashes.
You are an amazing dancer.
Your butt looks great in those jeans.
You make me want to be a better man.

Sometimes when I try to say things like that in person, I think I sound creepy. So now I will limit my use of bizarre compliments to the Honesty Box. Feel free to deliver mine in person if you prefer, I know that I can handle it.

I really do believe that people need to be completely honest with each other, and that only good things can come of it. Even if something apparently bad happens as a result of honesty, at least it's real. You know?